When You're Just Not That Into You

I Ask Myself - Episode 1

Hello! And a special welcome to new subscribers. Also a special hi again to those who’ve been here since before it was cool (it’s still not cool, so everyone is actually here since before it was cool).

Real quick…

I’ll be traveling around the US in the new year, performing my signature “comedy + a little viola” act. If I’m coming to or near your city — Dayton KY (near Cincinnati!), Stanford CA, Sonoma CA, Washington DC, Royal Oak MI, Gettysburg PA — please do come to a show and say hi! All tickets and dates here.
I’m still in the process of filling out my calendar, so if I’m not currently coming anywhere near you, I now have this form where you can tell me where to go. If enough people name the same place, I’ll try to do a show there!

And now…

When You’re Just Not That Into You

I often find myself giving my friends better advice than I would give myself. This is probably because it’s easier to see the bigger picture when the person experiencing a conflict isn’t you. Giving someone else advice (or compassion, sympathy, etc.) is like pulling back the curtain for them in an attempt to get them to see all that you see and that things might just be okay. But when consulting ourselves regarding our own dilemmas or anxieties, we stay in front of the curtain, alone on stage, subjecting ourselves to an imaginary audience of critics.

I began thinking about all this recently while trying to work through some intense anxiety about my career (which always leads me down a path of self-flagellation, since I often mistake career shortcomings as personal shortcomings).

Thankfully, during this time, a good friend in distress reached out to me for support, and as I gave it to her, I noticed how rational my thinking was surrounding her problems. I knew she was going to be okay. I then thought, if I were someone else listening to Isabel (that’s me in case you forgot) vent about her problems, would I think, “wow, this girl’s f*cked!” Or, would I think, “that sounds stressful but she’ll obviously be fine!” And in that moment, I felt deeply in my core that the answer was the latter — she’ll be fine!

Going forward, I’d like to try and pull back the curtain on my own problems and strive to be my own good friend.

So…

This idea of being my own good friend inspired me to record the following audio, where I ask myself a question that I’ve genuinely struggled with, and then answer it as if I’m a good friend giving me advice.

Consider this the first installment in a series I’m calling I Ask Myself.

For installment one, the question I attempt to answer is:

How do I love myself when I’m just not that into me?

Audio question and answer below: